Saturday, March 14, 2009

Cinderella did not show up tonight

Well I find that I post about once a month, that seems like a good number till I get married and am away from family...hahahahaha.....like Terra would let that happen again.

Anywho...

Well tonight was the military ball, Tyler's dad is in the military and they do this big hoorah up at the Capitol. However, I was stressing, and stressing hard. I didn't know what kind of dress to wear, so I had a gift card to Kohl's I thought I would use, and to no avail could not find a dress. So i decided ok, well whats his family wearing? He texted me back saying everyone was going in formals so Coolio I can wear my prom dress again, i love that dress, it even has its own name the "pink banana" so I started getting ready around 5 put my hair in curlers, etc.
Yet when I took my hair out, it wasn't curled at all...so i plugged in the curling iron, and started madly curling away...still looked like poop and wouldnt hold....so i tried to do it up, figured hey i got quite a few curls going on there, I can try to do the do I had for prom. WRONG-OH....
So i took out the 30 odd bobby pins in my hair, and all the curls that were there before...completely gone. My hair was not being my friend in the least bit, I had no make up on yet, and of course I'm breaking out on my chin like mad again...and I started to cry....

For those of you who don't know yet for some odd reason, I was diagnosed a "major depressive" person oh, what 4 years ago or 5 now...and have taken all sorts of medication since, thankfully I've been on the right medication for 2 years, was stable enough to move out of state for awhile even. Yet every sooo often the sneaky little monster gets back in my head, needless to say I became a basket case tonight and didn't go to the ball, I blame my hair....lol

However, on a happier note, I am so grateful for Tyler. He is so understanding when I have my bad days, and always ready to help me in any way he can even if its just to hold me while i ball my eyes out for no reason. His sister didn't ask anyone to the ball, so I told Tyler to go be her date, and he agreed with me. I am so lucky to have someone so patient in my life.

I know that I've gotten a bit worse since school has gotten out, and I've had nothing to do. I admitted to my doctor, when I have nothing to do, I get more down...so its a good thing my friend Amy is taking me to the Utah Teachers Recruiting Fair at U of U on Tuesday which means I need to write my resume and have copies made on monday, and make sure I dont have a bad hair day again :D. Then on Wednesday I get my subsitute teaching thingy finally, hopefully subsitute more after that just to get me back to doing stuff.

I know when I finally get a job teaching, I'm going to be soo occupied with it and soo happy no matter where it is. I just love it soo much. I even loved student-teaching, I didn't mind not being paid even though the students would say "WHAT?!?!?! Your not getting paid for this?" I loved making up assignments, and correcting them, and helping the kids out. I'm really grateful to also graduate with an Art History Minor...even though you technically can't with a History Teaching Degree...do do do. I love history---oooo me and tyler should go to Egypt on our honeymoon...whenever that may be ; ). thats the idea of today anyways...tomorrow Disney Cruise